It was always my dream to go to Sweden. I loved Jesus and the opportunity to learn more about Him at a bible school in Sweden seemed absolutely perfect. After almost a year of saving and planning, the thick forests in Holsbybrunn would be my home for the next few months. Unfortunately, I didn’t know anyone before I actually got there.
The staff arranged a games night when we all arrived so we could get to know each other.
In one of the games, we each had the name of a biblical character taped to our back. We were to ask each other for clues about whose name was on our back and reveal clues to others about which name was on theirs.
I didn’t have extensive knowledge in this area. Other students would ask for hints, and I wouldn’t know what to say. I was unsure who some of these people were, and even the obvious names did not seem so obvious.
Mary? Which Mary?
John? Which John?
Ah-ha Judas! Someone I know. But there could be more than one Judas too.
I tried to excuse myself from the game and move to the far corner of the room. I didn’t want to play.
I didn’t want to be found out.
I would feel humiliated if everyone discovered that I didn’t know who most of these people from the bible were.
I wanted to run away and hide. I didn’t belong there. Clearly it was a group of students who knew their bible. They deserved to be there. But not me.
I hadn’t paid my tuition fully yet. I reasoned I could take the money and travel all over Europe instead. A girl who doesn’t know that much about her bible wasn’t going to fit in with this crew. That night, I pondered if I would stay.
The next morning was Sunday. I dragged myself to the school church convinced I didn’t deserve to be there. I never went to Sunday School as a kid. I never had my family tell me who Jesus was. They never even told me what Christmas or Easter were actually about.
In fact, my parents told me I was making a huge mistake and wasting my time and money by going to bible school.
I sat in the church for a moment convinced they were right.
But that Sunday morning came a message that changed everything. As if that pastor knew the exact battle on my heart that day. He spoke these words which I will never forget.
“The very thing you think disqualifies you, uniquely qualifies you”
The reason I didn’t think I belonged there was actually the very reason that I did belong there. The girl that doesn’t know her bible is exactly the girl who belongs in bible school.
When Jesus called Matthew to follow Him (or Levi as he was called when he was still a tax collector…again who can keep these names straight?) the religious leaders criticized him for eating and drinking with a sinner.
Jesus’ response?
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31)
When it seems like you are surrounded by people who appear more qualified than you, it is important to know that you have unique qualities and life experiences that God is going to use. That which becomes our reason for hiding and feeling inadequate, is actually the very thing God wants to use.
Your addiction qualifies you.
Your infertility qualifies you.
Your divorce qualifies you.
Your depression and anxiety qualify you.
The mistakes you made qualify you.
The way you were treated qualifies you.
What was taken from you qualifies you.
This I say to you because time and time again God has shown up and used my weakness and inadequacies to do incredible things.
Whatever you think makes you “unable” is actually the very thing that God will take and show the world “I Am able” .
Our broken places and weaknesses are God’s plan to demonstrate His love and power. It is the megaphone He uses to shout His goodness to the world.
Jesus chose Matthew to be one of his closest friends. He didn’t choose a seemingly perfect religious leader. That so called “sinner” Matthew actually went on to write the first book in the New Testament (and in case you didn’t know, the bible is the most read book in the history of time!)
The people God uses in the bible are the ones who messed up or who were not very qualified in the eyes of the world. In spite of their “limitations” God uses them all in amazing ways (and if you don’t know all those stories, that’s ok).
However, I want to remind you of one you might know: From a poor unmarried mother, humbly born in a stable, came the King of Kings.
God is able to use your humble origins too.
When I look back to my time at bible school I definitely belonged there and I had an incredible semester. I can trace so many incredible things in my life to that decision to stay there and accept that I was in fact uniquely qualified.
“It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God” – 2 Corinthians 3:5
What exactly does it mean to be Living Unfinished? Find out more here: What is Living Unfinished?